Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
