I am puke
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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