smell my finger.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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