that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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