It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
