was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize