IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
