Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize