none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
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So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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