Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
