I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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