"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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