In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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