i barfeds in our rink
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
