it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
