can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
