I seem to have left my pride at pride
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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