oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
