yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
