lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think your dad took our porno
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
