Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
