i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I can't turn off my feet"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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