My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
