we're blogging at a bar
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
