I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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