Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
