I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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