The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so let's talk penis.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
