so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
