He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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