He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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