Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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