A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
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Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
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You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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