it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well I just put wine in my tea
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
