I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
