he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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