yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
