So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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