He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hippo gnu deer
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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