so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
