is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
