U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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