So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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