last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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