I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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