So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
