i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
