perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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