trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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