I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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