operation harelip BJ is a go
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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