i think my mom watched the whole time
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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