k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
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