she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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