so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
