i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My ass is underappreciated
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize