I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize