first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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