And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
