Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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