you're like a bully in the Christmas story
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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