dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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