PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
