So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
