SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
