She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Never underestimate the power of titties
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
