i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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